It will never be So Long or Goodnight.

Every day without fail I look at both my TimeHop app and my Facebook memories. I only really use social media to document my life so I can be reminded of it in the future. Growing up I used to write in a diary every single day, which is amazing to look back on, but I don’t have time for that now, (believe me I’ve tried) so the odd Tweet or Facebook status has become my new version of that.

When I scrolled my Facebook memories today, I noticed that eight years ago My Chemical Romance announced their breakup, which I didn’t take very well at all. I remember I spent most the day crying, and I generally felt a bit lost. Which I know sounds silly, but My Chemical Romance were so much more than just a band to me, they were more like the scaffolding that held my life together.

I’ve spoken about the importance of music in my life a lot so far on my blog, and music has always been important to me. My Mam and brother instilled the importance of music in me as I grew up listening to Iron Maiden, Queen, Michael Jackson and Prince due to them. The first band I ever loved was Busted, and I was obsessed with them, but when I was twelve years old, a school friend told me I had to listen to this band she was into and thrust her personal CD player at me one break time.

Playing as I put the earphones in my ears was My Chemical Romance – Helena. Listening to it felt like I’d been injected with a drug (Or so I imagine, anyway) I was awake, alive, and desperate for more! I listened to the first five or six songs from their Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge album that day, then I spent the rest of the week begging my Mam to let me buy the album myself with some pocket money.

Of course, it was easier for her to drive me to the shop to get the album, than it was to hear me talk about it nonstop, and so that’s what she did. Little did she know I would then spend the next sixteen years talking about them too. (Sorry Mam!)

My Chemical Romance were like an open door into a world I was so excited to explore. A world of new music, self-expression, creativity and gigs; as soon as I entered that world, the door closed behind me, and I took up residence and soaked it all in. My adoration for bands like Fall Out Boy, Panic At the Disco, Avenged Sevenfold and what feels like a million other bands followed, but My Chemical Romance were always the one band I felt as if I belonged to.

“It’s okay to be messed up, cause there’s five dudes that are just as messed up as you.” – Gerard Way

I struggled really bad with anxiety when I was a teenager and listening to them made me feel like I was okay, and their music gave me a safe place to be.

Around the time The Black Parade was due to come out, I was struggling really bad with my social anxiety. I could no longer go to school because it was making me so unwell. Everything was a struggle for me, I never really went shopping, I couldn’t get on a bus, I struggled with everything social, but My Chemical Romance helped me through all that.

I really don’t know where I would be today without them.

I bought The Black Parade the day of release in 2006, that first listen to it was beautiful, I almost wish I could go back in time just to hear it for the first time again! When I began that first listen, I was hopeless and felt alone, but when I finished it, I was hopeful and felt like my scaffolding was that bit stronger.

“I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone.” – My Chemical Romance – Famous Last Words

The lyrics that felt like they hit me like a ton of bricks… but in a good way. I felt like them lyrics in my soul, and from that moment on wards, I decided I needed to work hard to be able to say them words myself and mean them one day. I couldn’t imagine it to begin with, but I knew I could do it.

Because of them lyrics and the strength MCR gave me I was able to go to college, get some GCSEs that I didn’t manage to get from school. I was able to get the confidence to ask for help and I got Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to assist me in finding my self-worth, and to give me the tools to get my social anxiety under control. I was able to enrol on a music course and sing on stage as a middle-finger to my anxiety (My anxiety was still very much a thing at that point, but fighting it in the most dramatic way helped a lot) I was ultimately able to get my life on track and my mental health in check because of that song, and that band.

When I heard the news that they had broken up in 2013, it was heart-breaking for me. I’d never done it on my own before, and although none of the members of My Chemical Romance even knew I existed, I felt abandoned and alone, just like I had before I had found them.

It felt like because they were gone, my scaffolding was gone too. I no longer had new music to look forward to from them, or have a date of a gig to count down the days to.

After they broke up, I continued my hard work with my mental health and my social anxiety and I finally got to a point where I could whole heartedly say that I was no longer afraid to keep on living, and I was no longer afraid to be alone, and to remind myself of this I got it tattooed on my arm in 2014.

Whenever I’m having a down day, or if I feel lonely, to this day, I will look down at my tattoo, and still listen to MCR to inject some hope into me.

I couldn’t contain my excitement when they announced a comeback, and yes, I cried a lot of tears when I managed to get tickets to see them in Milton Keynes (which is probably going to be next year, let’s be honest).

My point is music is so important, and important bands feel like they almost become a part of your DNA over the years. The friends, support, escape and pep talk you need whenever you listen.

I’ve had lots of favourite bands in my life, and I’ll have many more, but I don’t think any will ever compare to My Chemical Romance. I don’t know what I would have done without them in my teen years, they truly helped me through some of the hardest years of my life.

I’m glad they’ve made a comeback because no matter how old I am, I will always need My Chemical Romance.