My world is loud. Too loud sometimes. Both externally and internally, and it often gets too much.
Being busy every day creates a very loud world: The hustle and bustle of people, and music while I shop. Screaming children, cages and pallets rolling by, and callouts being shouted over the tannoy while I’m at work. The washing machine chugging on in the other room while at home, or my loud music playing while I drive – it’s all very loud whether I chose it to be or not.
I like busy, and really, I don’t mind loud, but it’s always been something that can easily overwhelm me. If I don’t take a break from it, it becomes too much, but knowing I need a break isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’ll often have a feeling of something not being right in my chest, and my hands and arms might feel a bit tense or twitchy. I won’t be able to get comfortable in my seat and I know then it’s time to turn off the world and take a breather.
In between work, seeing family and friends, and moving out, I haven’t had much time for nothingness recently, so I told myself, “Today is a day off from the world.” I lay on the sofa, scrolling TikTok, while Friends plays on the TV in the background. I had the dishwasher and clothes washer on in the next room and I began to feel that sense of ‘too much’ wash over me. This wasn’t feeling like the day off I needed, although it looks and sounds like a day off, it was all still too loud to count as a day off for my mind.
When I was growing up I lived in a house with an open fire in the living room. In hindsight it was lovely to sit near, feel the warmth and hear its noises; but in reality, it was the only heating we had, and so being sat as close as possible to it was the only way to get warm. Despite it being a necessity back then, the sound of a fire crackling always brings me such peace.
My go-to video on YouTube is a ten-hour video of an open fire. It looks much like the one we had in our house, apart from ours had big lions beside it. Hearing the crackles, pops, and the sound of the wood shifting as it slowly burns takes me back to a much simpler (and much colder) time. Sure, times were still hard back then, but they were much easier than now, and I had a lot more time where my mind was empty back then, rather than it being full like now.
In a desperate need to empty my mind, I turned off Friends, put on YouTube, and pressed play on my comfort video instead. I put down my phone and lay on the sofa, watching the rain trickle down the window; another of my favourite things.
Rain has always made me feel safe. I remember being in my pushchair as a small child and having the rain cover over me; the sound the rain made as it dripped on the plastic was a comfort, and I get the same feeling hearing raindrops on an umbrella as an adult. I feel an odd comfort from the rain in that it creates something between myself and others, kind of like a strange wall that separates me from the rest of the world. Which at this moment, is another thing I need.
A video of a fire crackling on the TV, and the sound of rain tapping on the window, as I watch the raindrops run down the glass, allows me the time I need to empty my mind.
There is nothing I love more than having the time to just be, and have my mind be as empty as it can be. My favourite time of the day is that time after getting into bed and closing your eyes, but before you actually fall asleep. It’s nothingness time and I love that feeling. It feels like a blank part in the page of the day where I can plan the next day, conclude the day I just had, or just lay and allow my thoughts to do their own thing.
I think in the busy time I am currently living in, I need to make more time for nothing and allow my mind to tip itself up and be empty for a while. No phone, no social media, no music – nothing but peace and comfort; which are two things I need the most.
We all need a bit more peace in our lives, no matter how full or empty our lives might feel in the moment, a little time for nothing is sometimes all we need. I genuinely think that doing nothing doesn’t get enough credit. I know I sometimes feel guilty for doing nothing, but you know, let’s just forget about what the clock says, what notification just popped up on our phones, or if that load of washing has spent a little too long waiting to come out of the washer – let’s just take a break and indulge in some nothingness instead, even if only for ten minutes or so.
Gwen Richards 